Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
