Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
