I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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