i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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