So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
