He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
