Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
