i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
