he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
