I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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