you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize