I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just pee around me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
