so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
