And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
