1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Come on in and take your pants off
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
