i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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