forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
