from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
