I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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