sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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