no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
