In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
