Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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