i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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