I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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