ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
