That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
