super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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