I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize