i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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