So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
