so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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