There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
