did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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