We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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