So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize