apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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