Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
