just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
did you just send me my own nude
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
