When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
