Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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