and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize