my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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