i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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