idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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