Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
