We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize