I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
