i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
