YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Randomize
