Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
