youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
