id be glad to
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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