your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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