If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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