no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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