Will you blow on my dice?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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