Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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