I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize