At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
