i would punch a child for taco bell
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i now understand why vodka
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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