You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
