Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
