I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
