I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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