We're facebook friends in real life
Screwed.edu
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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