Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
