when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
