So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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