Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
