I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I will pee on everything he values.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
