Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
