So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Come share oat with me in your robe
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
