please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize