I want to make a zoo with you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
