Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
