Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
