I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
