Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
