when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
