he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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