proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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