I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Of course I have a pirate flag
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
