After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Congratulations! We have a period
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize