Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
