I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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