Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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