Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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