I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
