and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
