He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize