Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
